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Jobs forecast gloomy for 2008...but the good news always comes from Jobs in Plymouth

This year is not looking good for the jobs market, according to the predictors.They say that a global downturn spells bad news for jobseekers as firms look to trim personnel. See the full story by clicking here.

But it's not all bad. Just a month ago, other 'authorities' were saying that unemployment was the lowest for three decades. See that full story here.                   

It's hard to pick the truth from the naysayers, so stick with Jobs In South West and we'll pick the wheat from the chaff in 2008, to bring you targeted jobs and career news and funnies straight to your inbox.

Ever stuck for something good to say?

You know those times when you wish you had something sharp and witty to say to the office wise-guy or clever clogs?

Well let the Jobs in South West blog give you some guidance here (although if you get your face slapped, or sent to a tribunal it's not our fault, OK?)

If you're co-workers don't find these funny, perhaps you're in the wrong job. In which case, you need to be visiting www.jobsinplymouth.co.uk or www.jobsincornwall.co.uk to find a new one.

Geddit?

What to say to someone after they've made a rubbish comment:
"Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view."

Addressing an irritating office junior:
"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid."

Explaining your abruptness in meetings:
"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."

Explaining your dreaminess in meetings:
"You sound reasonable: Time to up my medication."

Justifying your morning moods:
"I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

Explaining your existence to workplace visitors:
"I don't work here. I'm a consultant."

Explaining your existence to your co-workers:
"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at a cellular level I'm really quite busy."

On setting deadlines:
"How about never? Is never good for you?"

Reading between the lines in job applications

We all try to present our best side when we're writing to a potential employer.

Those bosses have to sift the wheat from the chaff - and they get used to seeing the same old phrases that seem to mean something different to what the author intended.

Here's our jokey translations of common phrases that find themselves into job application letters.

And the moral of the story is...don't pack your job application letter with untruths and exaggeration. Unless you want to work for the News of the World, that is!

What jobseekers say: I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization.
What they mean: I've used Microsoft Office.

What they say: I'm honest, hard-working, and dependable.
What they mean: I pilfer office supplies.

What they say: My pertinent work experience includes...
What they mean: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.

What they say: I take pride in my work.
What they mean: I blame others for my mistakes.

What they say: I'm personable
What they mean: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

What they say: I'm extremely professional.
What they mean: I carry a PDA

What they say: I'm adaptable
What they mean: I've changed jobs a lot.

What they say: I'm always on the go.
What they mean: I'm never at my desk.

What they say: I'm highly motivated to succeed
What they mean: The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.

Seriously though, find some sincere assistance for writing your perfect job application letter right here.

Helpful interview hints

One of the most frequently asked interview questions is "why did you leave your last job?"

Now this might worry you, but we at Jobs In South West feel say that honesty is the best policy.

Some job experts recommend beating the interviewer to it by volunteering the information before the question is even asked. This may allow you to move on quicker from the subject.

Brevity and honesty is the key to focus on when dealing with this subject, they say.

To deflect the negativity of the situation, you could offer a lesson that you learned from the experience or how the circumstances benefited you as a worker.

Read more about this tricky situation online here.

It's time to move on

When you read this short list, are you thinking, "yes, that's me?"
If yes, look up Jobs in Plymouth and we'll sort you out right now.
It's time to find another job when...

1. You're having evil thoughts about your boss.
2 You are convinced that a vengeful God has kept you in this job.
3 You have anxiety attacks at the mere thought of going to work.

Read the rest here:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Its-Time-to-Leave-Your-Job-When&id=151441