Ever stuck for something good to say?

You know those times when you wish you had something sharp and witty to say to the office wise-guy or clever clogs?

Well let the Jobs in South West blog give you some guidance here (although if you get your face slapped, or sent to a tribunal it's not our fault, OK?)

If you're co-workers don't find these funny, perhaps you're in the wrong job. In which case, you need to be visiting www.jobsinplymouth.co.uk or www.jobsincornwall.co.uk to find a new one.

Geddit?

What to say to someone after they've made a rubbish comment:
"Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view."

Addressing an irritating office junior:
"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid."

Explaining your abruptness in meetings:
"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."

Explaining your dreaminess in meetings:
"You sound reasonable: Time to up my medication."

Justifying your morning moods:
"I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

Explaining your existence to workplace visitors:
"I don't work here. I'm a consultant."

Explaining your existence to your co-workers:
"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at a cellular level I'm really quite busy."

On setting deadlines:
"How about never? Is never good for you?"